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Having celebrated my birthday a few days ago and
having crossed the golden threshold a few years back have made me
realize that there are experiences in life the full meaning of which
can only be appreciated by one of sufficient maturity and
understanding. Indeed, as I journey through life at this late age, I
have come more and more to realize that youth, to quote Oscar Wilde,
has indeed been wasted on the young or at least on my earlier years.
It is no secret that my first 50
years have been difficult, if not arduous. It was spent in
preparation, training, dedication, meditation, purification and
survival. No choice was clear; only the final goal was. Reaching it
was the challenge. Unwise routes were explored—with foibles made,
fears felt, doubts magnified, despair manifested, and desperate
calls for help cried out.
And yet, for every failure there
was a corresponding lesson and a compensating strength; gradually,
each of my steps began to be trodden with surer footing, the
direction pursued with greater vision, more hopeful determination,
and more confident surrender.
I was not at once aware when life
suddenly became easy. As earlier intimated, it was a gradually
illuminating process which gave rise to an anticipated, but still
unexpected, outcome. At some point, I just felt sure that I finally
found the right way to be.
I transformed myself and
rearranged my life. I challenged every accepted truth. I tried
untried things. I did what I never dared do in the past. I met and
made new friends. I learned and followed their advice. I ventured
into new undertakings. I discovered new abilities and experienced
new joys. I let go and surrendered. I basked in the moment. I became
fully alive.
So here I am, basking in the
golden glow and experiencing the best years of my life. Every night
is spent amazed at what I had accomplished and at how much I enjoyed
getting it done. Every morning is undergone anticipating eagerly
what life has to offer next. I approach the day confident, creative,
loving, compassionate, and blissful. I am pursuing exactly what I
want. My life is full.
Writing this column had much to
do with this transformation. It made me acutely aware of my deepest
thoughts and philosophies. My musings had to be put into writing for
me to investigate and understand them fully. The internal, mental
exercise clarified for me what I ultimately believed in.
It expanded my audience and
horizons from university students to everyday, normal human beings,
emanating from all walks of life. It challenged my imagination as I
anticipated the problems, not of an academic, but of every man. It
led to invitations to conferences and to publications in journals.
For every column written was a paper presentation or a journal
article in the making. It introduced me to new international
contacts.
It also made me realize that I
had much to offer and to contribute to society, that I represented a
peculiar perspective, one not readily accessible or ordinarily
available. And since I had no pretensions to public office, I did
not dread to express this perspective. No institution was sacred or
safe from the searching scrutiny of my penetrating pen.
This latest journey has been a
fantastic voyage which promises even more rewards—new friends, new
undertakings, new abilities, new creations, new imaginations and new
experiences. I can only encourage the reader to embark on his or her
own similar journey.
And so, as I wax nostalgic during
my birthday week, allow me to offer some piece of advice. Do not be
afraid to dare and to be. Life is short and at the same time
endlessly promising. Pursue your childhood fantasy. Become what you
have always wanted to be. Explore what you have never dared try.
Sample all the world’s diverse delights. Surrender and live. Bask
in the golden glow.
It is a shame that the young,
possessed with all the vigor, bravado and strength of youth, is
unable to live as we, golden glowers, potentially can. He is too
immature, too ignorant, and too unsure of himself. He has yet to
discover the secret of letting go, of surrender and of glorious
living.
But we have lived long enough to
know. And, of those among you who still do not, you can at least
venture a guess. Your guess will not be far off the mark; and, if
you dare to live in accordance with your ideal of a flourishing,
fulfilling life, then your efforts shall be infinitely recompensed.
I speak not from darkness or
ignorance. I have been basking in the golden glow for a little more
than a year now, and every day, for me, has emerged more exciting,
more exhilarating, more fulfilling, and more flourishing than the
previous one. Thus, I encourage and call each and every one to bask
in your own golden glow. Let go and surrender to the moment. It will
not disappoint.
eqfernando@hotmail.com.
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