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What makes a sweet child grow up to become a juvenile delinquent?
Newborn babies are innocent and pure. What causes them to become out
of control youngsters that their parents have a difficult time
recognizing? How can such a good little angel grow horns?
The answer can obviously be found in the
upbringing. I want to make it very clear from the outset that I am
convinced that no parent intentionally raises a child to become
delinquent. That is unthinkable. There can be no doubt, however,
that we parents do make mistakes in raising our children. Honest and
sincere mistakes to be sure, but mistakes nonetheless. And some of
these mistakes can and do contribute to the delinquency of a child.
Let me share with you some of the mistakes that
parents make that cause problems later on. The first is to allow a
child to have his way. Little children are naturally selfish. They
are self-centered because they have not yet learned to give. They
are takers. We see it all the time. They don’t want to share their
toys. They insist and scream and cry when their demands are not met.
They want what they want, when they want it. And almost always, they
want it now.
Well, that isn’t a good formula for success
later on. Life is not a oneway street. Though the parents might give
in to every whim of a child, society will not when the child grows
up. Children who get used to having their way at home learn to
expect the same privileged treatment from the rest of the world. And
when that doesn’t happen, they rebel. They might even become
aggressive and insistent to get their way, so used are they to
having it at home.
Parents who give in to their kids excessively
are conditioning their children to feel entitled to get what they
want. Later on, when they interact with other children, they will be
seen as selfish and self-centered and will have problems with
interpersonal relationships.
Little ones should be taught early on that they
must share and give to others and not to have things always go their
way.
I can never forget the words of a convicted
rapist on death row (he was executed): “If my mother had not given
me everything I wanted, I wouldn’t be here.”
If you have problems about drugs, alcohol and
behavior/attitude call my office at 8206107 or 8251771 or e-mail me
at gvcbuenca@vasia.com or write me at P.O. Box 2099 MCPO, Makati
City.
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