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A red flag that should alert parents that there is something wrong
with their child is when he disregards the hurt he causes others.
Kids can be cruel and if they are not corrected early on, they can
grow up to become sociopaths (men and women without a conscience).
A child is not naturally sensitive. He learns
sensitivity to the feelings of others in time. When little ones show
insensitivity to their peers and their parents, they should gently
be reminded and corrected. As they grow older, attention must be
given to the way they respond when they inflict hurt on someone
else. Parents should not allow them to hurt others and then to
disregard the consequences of their actions.
Kids spend most of their time at home
interacting with family and neighbors. Parents can easily observe
them when they cross the line and hurt others. They can use these
situations talk to their kids and explain to them the nature of the
hurt they caused and require them to make amends.
Maids are often the victims of insensitive kids
who show them no respect. In my house, my wife and I are very quick
to respond to any insult or insensitive behavior toward the maids by
our daughters. We also would not tolerate any behavior by them that
would cause hurt to each other. We would insist on apologies.
I remember when I was in elementary. I was
guilty of manipulating an older neighbor who was retarded. I
convinced him to buy a lot of candies which we proceeded to consume.
My father was furious when he learned of my disregard for the
handicap of the guy I victimized. He immediately marched me over to
my neighbor’s house and forced me to apologize to Daniel’s
father. More than that, dad forced me to do work for Daniel’s
father. I think I helped Daniel with his chores for a week. It was a
lesson learned the hard way that I never forgot.
Remember that behavior (good and bad) is
learned. And much of it is learned in the home. This is why it is so
critical that parents stay alert and use every opportunity that
presents itself to form the character and values of the child. The
earlier you do so, the better. If you don’t do it, the child will
pay the price when he grows up.
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If you have problems about drugs, alcohol and
behavior/attitude call my office at 8206107 or 8251771 or e-mail me
at gvcbuenca@vasia.com or write me at P.O. Box 2099 MCPO, Makati
City.
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