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Another mistake that we parents sometimes make with
our children is to let them take the easy way out. We do things for
them that they should do themselves. Perhaps we came from a life of
hardship and we want to make sure that they do not experience what
we did, so we shield them from difficulties that are truly part of
growing up.
We commit the mistake of not
making demands on them and consequently we allow them to take the
easy way out.
I know parents who do the
assignments for their kids. Instead of letting them struggle with
their academics, they do it for them. It’s a big mistake. First,
they don’t learn as well. Second, they get used to someone doing
it for them. Third, when they get a good grade, they know that their
mark does not reflect their work and is truly a subtle form of
cheating.
There are parents who do not ask
their children to do some chores around the house. They grow up not
knowing how to work and some become lazy and pleasure oriented.
Later on, when they need to join the workforce they find it
difficult to get down to business and put in a hard day’s work.
What requires a struggle is
disagreeable to the child raised in this way. He is used to getting
what he wants without much effort and continues to have that same
expectation.
He finds it difficult to
persevere. If there is no immediate success, he walks away. Despite
this, he has a need for immediate gratification and when he does not
get it, he is frustrated and angry. He then resorts to any means to
get what he wants. You don’t give him money. He will steal it. He
will find a way by hook or by crook to get what he wants, even if it
means breaking the rules or the law.
Parents need to teach their
children a work ethic. They need to make them accountable. In my
house, if my daughters did not work, they were denied an allowance.
No work, no pay. Today, as professionals, they work long hours
without complaint and are grateful for the tough line we took.
All upbringing should have an eye
for the future. Keep observing your children and ask yourself if
this behavior, continued into the future, will contribute to their
happiness and success. With that in mind, you will make the right
decisions.
If you have problems about
drugs, alcohol and behavior/attitude call my office at 8206107 or
8251771 or e-mail me at gvcbuenca@vasia.com or write me at P.O. Box
2099 MCPO, Makati City.
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