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Being in America for the past weeks has really helped
me release stress. I enjoy shuttling from San Francisco to Los
Angeles and learning a lot of things! I’ve been able to see things
for myself and determine whether or not the myths about life in
America are true. Some of our kababayan encourage me to stay here
for a convenient life, but I just can’t separate myself from the
Philippines.
The weather’s great but I
sometimes freeze so I needed coats to insulate myself with. I’ve
scoured the malls here but they’re nothing compared to what I was
able to discover online. It’s everything about coats . . . and our
country.
Turncoats
This type of coat is usually worn
by the elite politicians in our society. It covers the entire body,
most importantly the stomach area, hiding the wearer’s large
protruding pork belly. The zipper can go up to the mouth, over the
neck, not to trap heat, but to cover the wearer’s nonsense trash
talk, coming to his own defense whenever he decides to change horses
and backstab his once-upon-a-time ally. We don’t need these, but
you can order this online via http://www.joe-de-perensiya.com/trapos.
Bolero
This one is something worn by the
debonair gentlemen of our time, otherwise known as the “Conmen.”
They’re responsible gentlemen; responsible for inhibiting our PRO-gress,
thus they have taken their pompous seats in CON-gress. They’re
smooth; they say they know how to take the bull by the horns in
their matador boleros but it’s all just reading from bull sheet.
They have this uncanny ability to knock the masses off their feet as
though they were heroes. Conmen in Boleros are publicity harlots.
There’s a full new collection online; just log on to http://www.mr.palengkeros.net/sellyourvote.
Mess Jacket
This one is for the poor people
in our society: poor in principle and backbone. Who constantly rant
at how rotten the political system in our country is, hating the way
some of our leaders would corrupt our money when they, too, would
pounce at any opportunity. They wear their mess jackets while
bumming around, indifferent to those who strive for change and
improvement in their lives, and would not mind working with a bare
back just as long as they can feed their family through decent
though lowly means. For those who look forward to selling their
votes and see themselves smiling despite the mess we’re in, go to http://hindikaaasenso.com/kahitanonggawinmo
and get the latest trends.
Reigncoat
Now this is the jacket preferred
by the intelligent people in our society; those who would stop at
nothing for the fulfillment of a dream. This incredible suit enables
the wearer to keep a smile while uttering lies to the nation. This
jacket is highly expensive, and it has the uncanny ability of making
really short people stand out. Just type http://www.yourGloriadaysareover.com
and see what I mean.
Windcheaters
This type of coat is made of
thinner material, usually worn under the reigncoat. What this one
does in insulate all the people with money so that they’d be cozy
and quiet. This is also a favorite come election time. But this
doesn’t only apply during election contests, but also during
multi-billion deals and transactions. It also has this uncanny
ability in making sure that the wearer wins. I’ve read
documentations of how fond some of our noblest presidents had been
of windcheaters. I wonder if our current president is, too. Hello!?!
Don’t forget to go to the site dedicated to windcheaters: http://www.naisahankoPOEkayo.com.
Trenchcoat
These are the coats purposefully
kept inside the Cabinets. These are age-old and smelly, and they
keep on adding during every administration. They smell so bad, but
people mostly died uncovering them; I guess the truth will be buried
forever. I heard VFR got himself one from the top-of-the-line brand
Pay-ya and Amarri, and there was a Genuino fine leather taped along
the Gar-see racks. I heard the most disgusting coat was one from Sir
Raulo collections. It just keeps on piling! I could go on but I
don’t know what horrors we might uncover. All I know is that these
keep our country in the trenches. To learn more, click on this link:
http://skeletonsinyourCabinet.com/RiP.
There’s really no stopping
Filipinos from wearing our coats.
mlatimes@gmail.com
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