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First of seven parts
You fall in love. Things happen so fast. Your
love grows by leaps and bounds. You’re as happy as can be. You
sense that you are true soulmates and meant for each other since the
beginning of time. The future never looked brighter. You see
marriage in the works.
Then, one day you find yourself feeling very
differently. Now, you are asking yourself if it was all a mirage, a
cruel joke. You’re feeling uneasy about your relationship. There
is a measure of dissatisfaction that has set in. You even have some
dark thoughts that maybe your love is beginning to fall apart. There
are telltale signs of a deteriorating relationship. If one only pays
attention you can surely tell when love is in a dive.
Since the question “does he still love me”
is the most often asked question in my counseling, let me, in a
series of articles, try to cover as many danger signs as possible.
The first and most obvious is a lessening of
communication between you and your beloved. Less phone calls, less
text messages and shorter ones at that, less meetings and less
serious talk about the future.
When one partner is thinking or actually has
begun the process of getting out, he will begin shutting down his
communication. Communication is the life blood of any relationship.
It is exceedingly difficult for love (or any relationship, for that
matter) to survive if there is a lack of communication over an
extended period of time. And so, when communication begins to shut
down, that beginning is a definite sign that there is a problem in
the relationship. As love grows, so too does meaningful
communication. As love dies, so too does real communication.
This is especially true when the lack of
communication is about expectations of each other. People in love
have high expectations of each other. When they stop expecting much,
that is a sign that they have given up hope. And when there is
little or no hope for the future, one begins to think of getting
out.
A lack or a lessening of communication may also
be a sign of infidelity or a growing interest in someone else. When
gripped by the intense feelings of new love, one loses interest in
the old love. The heart is not made to be intensely given to more
than one. Especially when it concerns married love, two hearts must
remain as one and cannot be shared with another partner.
There where your heart is, will be your interest
and, obviously, your most intense communication.
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If you have problems about drugs, alcohol and
behavior/attitude call my office at 8206107 or 8251771 or e-mail me
at gvcbuenca@vasia.com or write me at P.O. Box 2099 MCPO, Makati
City.
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