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Last of seven parts
Loneliness is not reserved for the singles who
are unsuccessful in finding a partner. The worst kind of loneliness
is that of a married person who is trapped in a relationship that is
no longer working.
Love is wonderful when it succeeds. It is hard
to find a greater high than the one which is felt at the height of a
love experience. But the reverse is also true. Few unhappy feelings
are more terrible than what one experiences when love fails and
bites the lover in the heart. This is especially true when one has a
family and can not find a way out of the relationship. That trapped
feeling is a sure sign that the relationship has struck the rocks
and is in danger of sinking. Happy lovers never feel trapped. Though
they are locked in love’s warm embrace, they feel free because all
is going so well. It is when things spin out of control that they
get that trapped feeling and tend to break out. Anyone in such a
relationship for an extended period of time should know that unless
something happens soon to fix the situation, the end is approaching.
Such a couple will have a lot of unresolved
issues which will tend to suck the life out of their love. Everyone
has problems, but it is the inability to resolve these problems that
causes a relationship to break down. Partners caught up in long
drawn out battles over recurring issues that never seem to get
resolved find that they become weakened by the constant hassles and
the drive to move forward is lessened. Couples who cannot resolve
important issues should never proceed to the altar until they can
manage their problems. To do so, is marital suicide.
The last two red flags are quite obvious. The
first is when you find yourself
wanting to hurt your partner, and when you do
so, you don’t feel sorry for the pain you caused. To inflict pain
on someone you claim to love and not feel sorry about it is
nonsense. You never purposely hurt the one you say you love. That
simply makes no sense at all.
The last red flag that indicates big trouble in
a relationship is wanting to be with someone else. You cannot give
your heart to another and still love your partner. You can tell me
you love them both and that might be true, but in our society, you
need to choose and give only to one. The other is the outsider.
Though this ends this series of danger signs
that one needs to watch for if one is to keep love solid and
healthy, there are others too that will pop up now and then. The
trick is to stay alert and move quickly when one sees a red flag
making its appearance.
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If you have problems about drugs, alcohol and
behavior/attitude call my office at 8206107 or 8251771 or e-mail me
at gvcbuenca@vasia.com or write me at P.O. Box 2099 MCPO, Makati
City.
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