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As a grandmother I take my role seriously. In these
days of hands-on parents, with a minimum number of children compared
to our days, as well as our own busier lives as elders, one does
have to take time, even make appointments to see grandchildren on a
one on one basis. It is in these sessions whether having a meal,
taking in a movie, visiting a museum, making a trip or just being
together for a time, that the interaction between generations
touches on values, philosophy, religion, outlook, on an intimate,
natural and memorable way.
Spending time together doing an
everyday or special event is in effect a demonstration and a
delivery of certain ways of doing things and conveying certain
attitudes that in the relationship between older and younger are
focused on, transferred or even updated in the act. It is a two way
street and it is not traveled on the basis of homilies, proverbs,
sermons and other pontifications, but on doing something together on
a virtually equal basis.
Rosanna, my twelve year old
granddaughter, and I have just come back from a trip to Indonesia.
She traveled with me without her parents or adult siblings for which
I had to have a DSWD permit, which is as it should be. So, we were
actually a party of three family members because my sister-in-law,
her grandaunt, was on the trip too, albeit with a number of other
adults which made us more conscious than ever that we were family.
I have always believed that we
should travel our country and Asia first before venturing farther to
more foreign cultures. So, this trip to Indonesia with a visit to
Jogjakarta in Central Java offered the Asian landscape of rice
paddies, volcanoes, ancient culture and contemporary Indonesian life
that would serve as a basis for learning and experiencing another
country that would engage us in discussions, comments and
comparisons.
Rosanna was quite excited when
her mother told her she was allowed to come with me. She kept
texting me weeks before about how she was preparing her suitcase and
was so thrilled to come. She must have spent time with that suitcase
because I was amused to find out along the way that she had packed
six pairs of shoes, two pairs of slippers and more than one bathing
suit. It must have been her idea of what hotel life required and it
turned out that it did not require that much. She kept to one pair
of shoes, one pair of slippers and never had the time to try the
hotel swimming pool.
Instead she climbed Borobodur,
trekked the Prambanan temple complex and visited the Sultan’s
Palace in Jogjakarta. She also watched excerpts of the Ramayana
story depicted in a classical Indonesian dance performance and got
introduced to batik, shadow play puppets, masks and krupuk. More
important, she got to meet and talk to guides, vendors, airplane and
hotel staff, all kinds of people along the way.
Indonesians are as friendly as we
are and before I knew it she was being asked by young Indonesian
fellow tourists taking in Borobodur and Prambanan to pose with them
for photographs. She was fascinated by markets and costumes, fruits
and local sweetmeats. She had an eye out for pets or animals.
Jogjakarta had its fascination with birds and birdcages on exhibit
from virtually every home or store. Cats and dogs also caught her
eye, enough to be photographed by her.
The hotel had a carp pool of
aggressive carp demanding feeding which she loved to do. The lotus
flower growing from the pond as well as other attractive flowers
were subjects of her camera.
The best part was our two way
conversation through all these events and experiences. She kept a
diary and at night would ask me questions about what I thought while
she expressed what impressed or struck her. Then I would tell her to
reflect on it, giving my own thoughts. This exercise was not just
about the trip but how she saw her world of school and classmates,
siblings and parents and grandparents, the way she viewed her life.
We were in an extended general conversation about our lives, our
views, ourselves, away from what we took for granted. This was
bonding.
It was also the occasion for my
sister-in-law and myself as her elders on the trip to pass on ways
of doing things, forming attitudes and stressing family
relationships that define ourselves to ourselves and to others, the
dynamics between an older generation and a younger generation.
The future will tell how much
will be remembered and replicated by choice. Suffice it to say,
Rosanna was given the choice through time spent together.
Grandmothers are not forever, children are not young always, time
flies and we must seize the moment.
miongpin@yahoo.com
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