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I wonder how some industries still thrive even when
only a very small sector in our society can afford to shop. Because
of the bad shape of our economy, even those who can afford will
think twice about getting that beaded handbag, or those five-inch
stilettos.
Although I know that everyone
seems to be living on a tight budget these days, I believe a few
enterprises can still thrive. To show my support, I have opened my
column for some advertisers selling the best products these days! I
am confident that many of our readers would buy these items and
support Pinoy brands that are world-class indeed; here are the eight
blunders of the world!
Speaker Foe with
Shen-Shame feature
Foe is the new name when it comes
to the best phone speakers! According to the stuck-exchange journal,
this is the best excess-sorry for any junkie out there; it can
easily be plugged anywhere. It also has a new exciting feature; a
recording software known as Shame-shame, or is it Shen-shame? Sales
are going through the roof these days! To join the fun, please
contact 1800-FOR-HES-A-JOE-GOOD-FELLOW. I hear that they’re also
raffling out golf sets, so hurry!
Sucks of Rice
The most affordable commodity
these days, thanks to our government’s astounding efforts. Only at
an unbelievable price of P18 per grain! Now, do take it with a grain
of salt- literally. After all, that’s the only thing we can afford
anyway – rice with salt! So, for a hearty, all-Filipino meal,
don’t hesitate to dial 123-NFA-LIES now! Hurry, because stocks are
hoarded!
Broad bands
This new brand of robber bands
has just recently been introduced in the market and has been
marketed expansively. Some of its renowned endorsers are local
action star Victor “Romulus” Neri, rising sports extraordinaire
Hike “Jun-jun” Lozada, and of course, international Mafia-movie
sensation Joe D’ Venaggio. These are made of pliable, elastic
material that would never break no matter how far you stretch it. It
has caused people to band and demonstrate on the streets but to no
avail; it just won’t break apart. They are suppler than the
government transactions, which can expand to millions. Get your
money’s worth for its retail price is only P330! Every office must
have these, so get one now and order through 1800-NBN-ZTE-direct.
Power Contract Lenses
These are surely bound to make
your eyes see the light! Worth a fortune, these contract lenses are
sold furtively until now! They also have a promo; buy one, get
another one for free! Squint no more, with these amazing contract
lenses that come in different colors, shapes and prices! See
yourself rise to power so don’t hesitate to get a pair through
their toll-free hotline: 000-IMPSA-PA.
Ate Glue
This has been initially marketed
through SMS, and projected to be a world-class Filipino-made
product, with the tagline, “SUPER PANDIKIT: Super dikit, super
kapit, di matanggal, di maalis.” So there it is; I am sure that
this super Ate Glue will definitely be a top product until the year
2010, when people would be starving, but this product will still
sell like hotcakes. In fact, this product is even making waves
abroad—in the region and even in the US! Please call the hotline
at 700-IM-SORRY to purchase. This product exclusively distributed by
Malakanya Ltd.
Glotathione
The dream of every Filipino is
finally here! The first and foremost, most effective whitening
solution that comes in capsule and cream format; known to cause
irritation when taken in large dosages, but guaranteed to whitewash
in just a few day’s use! Dial the toll free number
330M-$-WHITE-LIES.
FG Denims
The finest, thickest thing you
can wear today. Comfort that goes a long way! You can get this piece
of rag in two ways: you can buy it directly, or you can get it
through a congressional auction. Just inquire through
143-AYOKKO-TOH. Rumors have it that even our distinguished president
owns one of these denims!
Blood Banks
It’s kind of depressing for me
to add this one in. Well, a bank somewhere is faced with foreclosure
after a sad, bloody robbery scene. It’s bad enough to rob a bank,
but to rob innocent people of their lives? You tell me. Those
interested may call 911-WHOS-TO-BLAME?
I suggest you order from me by
emailing me at marylaine_viernes@manilatimes.net so I could at least
have a good kickback.
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