|
I’ve never dated anyone from work because I believe in separating
pleasure from business and business from your girlfriend. Besides,
it’s bad for business when everyone in the business knows your
business. Office romances always end up with someone getting hurt or
someone filing a sexual harassment case or a restraining order. The
relationship always ends up in a mess that nobody wants to clean up
except the janitor. I’ve seen all kinds of office romances destroy
lives of good people.
The drunken one-night-stand
Guy meets girl in HR. Guy and girl go to
happy-hour with co-workers. Guy gets drunk. Girl pretends to be
drunk. Girl hitches a ride with guy. Guy, fueled by alcohol, drives
straight to motel. Girl agrees. Next day, sober guy comes to work
like nothing happened. Girl confesses love for guy but guy avoids
girl realizing she’s a stalker. Stalker girl finally goes crazy
and stabs guy with a stapler.
The cheater
Married boss and single secretary have an
affair. Wife finds out because she finds floral underwear in
husband’s brief case. Wife gets even by sleeping with the driver
who looks like Joel Torre and knows it. Boss finds out because his
car is always dirty but driver is always smelling good and looking
good. Boss fires driver. Driver, desperate and hungry, stabs stray
dog with a screw driver for dinner.
True love
Guy falls madly in love with girl and they get
married after a few months. The new couple decides to quit their
jobs and migrate to Canada where they get paid more and get better
health benefits including vision and dental. The next day, company
boss was stabbed by an unemployed driver, who looks like Joel Torre,
because the couple that quit were the security guards of the
building.
Lesbian action
Girl meets girl. They make out in the conference
room. All the guys watch from outside the glass door. It gets
crowded. There’s pushing and shoving. One guy loses temper and
stabs other guy with his pencil.
So the moral lesson here is “Office romances
can only work if one of you quits and leaves the company.” Heed
that advice lest you get stabbed.
For violent reactions, e-mail the author at tim@timtayag.com.
|
