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By Perry Gil S. Mallari, Reporter
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The
ecstacy of Saint Theresa
by Giovanni Bernini |
It’s a topic often discussed in hushed
conversations in ladies rooms—the female orgasm a.k.a. the Big O.
The ability to reach climax during sexual intercourse has been the
subject of concern among women for many years. Why others can
experience it and why others cannot? The problem was further
complicated by the fact that the majority of men are clueless on the
issue.
In a largely conservative country like the
Philippines—a nation Christianized by force by Spain—sex is
often perceived as a taboo subject, a necessary evil and a source of
guilt and shame. This was the root of much misconceptions and
ignorance on the issue of sexuality among Filipinos. Religious and
sexist biases may have contributed a lot to the development of
fallacies about the female orgasm. It is quite preposterous to note
that as late as the 1970s, there were still people who believed that
female orgasms did not exist.
A physical response
There’s not much difference in the physical
response of men and women to sexual arousal. The clitoris, like
penis, becomes engorged with blood when a woman is stimulated. If
the tension caused by the upsurge is not released by orgasm, a woman
will feel frustration just as men do.
Research has established that stimulation of two
areas of the woman’s genitalia can lead to satisfying orgasm: the
clitoris, which is relatively easy to locate as a small protrusion
above the labia, and the Grafenberg spot or the G-spot, located
inside the vagina on the area towards the direction of the navel.
Studies have also indicated that female orgasm
can occur in three tempos: namely single orgasm, serial multiple
orgasm and sequential multiple orgasm. The sex organ experiences
surges of contractions approximately every 0.8 seconds during
orgasm.
Complex nature
While there are similarities between male and
female orgasms, women’s sexual climax is never a push-button
response. A number of factors besides physical stimulation affect a
woman’s sexual arousal.
Many women attest that sexual intercourse alone
does not guarantee an orgasm. In contrast to men who can climax
sexually even when the situation is not very conducive to lovemaking
or when do not particularly like their partners, physical and
emotional elements have to be right if a woman must reach orgasm.
In most cases, when a woman is unable to reach
climax, the blame falls immediately on the failure of the man to
stimulate her erogenous zone. While this is true in most cases,
psychological and emotional factors must also be considered.
Research has shown that for most women, trust
for their partners, the feeling of being loved and appreciated as
well as a romantic atmosphere is as important if not more important
than physical stimulation.
Shierlymae Dy del Rosario, MD, states that the
reason why most women failed to have an orgasm is psychological
rather than physiological by nature. This opinion was supported by a
number of experts in the subject.
On her website, Dr. Margarita Holmes, the
country’s foremost sex therapist, answered an inquiry from a woman
who was having difficulty reaching sexual climax. Holmes emphasized
that, in addition to sufficient foreplay, the feeling of trust
between the couple is equally important. Holmes said that it would
be hard for a woman to have an orgasm if she is withholding secrets
from or has unsettled issues with her man.
Ana Santos, The Manila Times relationship
columnist, observes that women talks more openly about sexuality as
they mature. “The issue of orgasm was discussed openly within my
circle of friends, but I believe we wouldn’t be that much
comfortable talking about it when we were much younger,” she
notes. Santos advises women to “feel at home” with their bodies
and to be patient in communicating to their partners what they want
sexually. She encourages men to set aside their machismo and listen
objectively to what their partners are saying.
Sex is indeed a wonderful privilege that should
be enjoyed by men and women in equal measure.
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