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SKEPTIC
TANK
By Tim Tayag
VPILF
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When I saw Alaska Gov. Sarah Palin next to U.S. presidential
candidate Sen. John McCain, I thought, “Who is that MILF?”
Apparently, she’s not just a MILF—she’s a VPILF. In case
you’re still uncertain, MILF is an acronym for those desirable
sexy mommas and not for the military group from Mindanao, although
I’m sure the mothers in Mindanao aren’t bad looking. And VPILF
is just a vice-presidential MILF.
In case you haven’t been abreast with
international news, Governor Palin was a former mayor in Alaska and
is now governor of the state. She is hot, in a
44-year-old-with-five-kids kind of way. In her younger years, she
was a basketball player, a sportscaster, and a beauty pageant
contestant. All these qualities just add to her VPILF-ness. She
reminds me of Gov. Vilma Santos. But I think Palin has an edge on
looks, no offense, Ate V.
In case the Republicans win the election (I hope
not), Palin would be next in line for the presidency in case McCain
expires during his term. I’m not saying I wish McCain would die,
but he’s had melanoma cancer three times and he’s already 72
years old. It is a possibility. If Palin becomes president of the
US, just imagine how cool that would be.
Her approval ratings would be high because
nobody would really care about her mistakes, she’s just such an
eye candy. Sure, unemployment rate is up but did you see what Madame
President was wearing at her last speech? If there are any conflicts
on the international front, she would be the perfect peacemaker in
her Gucci boots and skirt. Even Kim Jong-Il would have to act like a
gentleman in deference to her. She’s smart, she’s tough and best
of all, she is a mother. And we all know, everyone is afraid of
mothers. Even the toughest “gangsta rappers” squirm in fear when
their mommas give them lectures and knock them on their heads.
So in November, Americans will either have a
black president that can play hoops or a female vice-president that
can also play hoops and turn heads. It’s going to be amusing to
see how important looks turn out for the election race. If I had a
choice, I would still vote Al Gore for president.
[Kidding and chauvinism aside, Palin supports
the gun culture of America, is against the teaching of the Theory of
Evolution in science classes, is against protecting wildlife such as
the polar bear and is against contraception and effective birth
control—a stand made ironic by the unplanned pregnancy of her
17-year-old daughter. Regardless, all these candidates are American
and non among them will serve our interests as Filipinos.-Ed]
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