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By Annie Ruth C. Sabangan, Senior Reporter
(First of five parts)
ONE of the things “Ted” hates to do is get
up on early Monday mornings. His flabby flesh, strained eyes and
drowsy head tell him to stay in bed and not in an office in Makati,
where he works as an information technology professional.
On weekends Ted leads a hermitlike existence.
But definitely not in the way a Christian recluse does his
contemplation.
Ted may be physically alone inside his rented
room in Quezon City. But his mind, filled with primal passion,
allows him to connect with a lot of restless souls, with a little
help from his desktop computer he named “Sonya.”
On Friday evenings, when most single, young
working people like him go malling and bar-hopping, Ted, 27, starts
his kind of socializing by dragging and clicking Sonya to his
favorite chatrooms.
Ted considers himself a mediocre-looking guy.
Even from the way he speaks, usually short and inexpressive, it’s
easy to conclude Ted does not even have the so-called X-factor of
plain-looking males who with their spiel have already mastered
conquering credulous women.
But impressions about Ted’s inferior
personality are dispelled when he begins his wild ride in cyberspace
that turns him into a Casanova.
“I can’t remember how many . . . pero marami
na kong naka-CS [but I have had many CS]” Ted says, recounting his
kinks on the Internet or what avid sex chatters call “CS,” or
cybersex.
Usually at 10 p.m. on Fridays, Ted begins his
wild hunt for a hot babe by entering local sex chatrooms at Yahoo
Messenger, and at times via MIRC—an Internet relay chat program,
which, like Yahoo, lets people take part in real-time conversations.
His cyber sex routines in chat-rooms usually
start with abbreviations coupled with question marks.
“Madali lang makipag-CS [It’s easy to have
CS with someone] Tanong mo [You ask].”
“CTC ? [Care to chat?] Tapos [Then]) ASL?
[age, sex and location of the chat mate] Then tanong mo kung gusto
n’ya mag-CS, so yun na yun [You ask if she wants to have CS with
you, it’s just like that].” Ted explains, as if talking to
someone who knows the chat lingo.
The anonymity in Internet chatting allows Ted to
assume multiple personalities. Maintaining at least five pseudo chat
names, Ted could be whatever type of man (sometimes, woman) he wants
within the realm of cyberspace.
“Pabago-bago ako ng age, depende sa mood.
Minsan teenager, middle-aged, minsan nga, kunwari lolo o lolang
mahilig [My age depends on my mood. Sometimes I say I’m a
teenager, a middle-aged man; sometimes I pretend to be an old man or
an old woman],” he says with a grin.
Inside sex chatrooms, from Ted’s experience,
moral conventions are thrown out the window. Inhibitions, especially
for sex-chat hustlers, are nonexistent. The wildest of sexual
fantasies are realized, though verbally. Real-world boundaries are
surpassed especially by the most playful of minds—minus the flesh,
of course.
“When you’re there, you talk about it and
you imagine doing it,” he said.
As Ted’s fingers rapidly navigate the computer
keyboard, posting his presence at a chatroom using a pseudonym,
other chatters’ name with their messages—mostly Cuts and Asks
and some twaddle—fill the screen.
Now, Ted goes for the hunt. He quickly reviews
the chat exchanges, finds a female-sounding chat name, which he
thinks would give him a hot ride.
Finally, after an hour or so Ted finds “her”
target: “Cindee-jerkee,” whose ASL, if “she’s” saying the
truth, is “18, female, manila.”
In a private chatroom, away from other chatters
still hunting for cybersex mates, Ted and Cindeejerkee creatively
write their sexual scripts to reach that maddening feeling, or what
chatters call “the big O.”
Cindeejerkee tells Ted to hold her breasts and
lick her nip_ _les with lots of sal_va. Ted replies: “Yes, baby,
ang sarap lamas_n...” [Yes, I enjoy mashing your breasts]. Then
Ted asks Cindeejerkee to “li_k his di_ _.”
And their sexual exchanges continue (later aided
visually by the web camera) until they type messages in one hand
(while using the other to masturbate). Logs are now filled with the
longest “uhhh...” “ahhh...” and “ohhh...” escalating
toward the “big O.”
Such cybersex encounters, says Ted, last 30
minutes, sometimes even an hour or two, depending on how long
sex-chat mates want to extend their foreplay.
On Saturdays and Sundays, Ted’s nocturnal
hunting game continues, of course, with some rest and meal breaks,
he says.
There are instances when he does not do
one-on-one encounters and just extensively flirts with multiple-sex
chatters (some lead to “SOP,” or sex on phone), lasting until
the first sunbeam hits the glass windows of his room.
There are also what Ted calls “big nights”
when some girls give him “permission” to view them naked via a
computer web cam.
He says he started with “innocent” chatting
more than a year ago, shortly after he broke up with his girlfriend
of four years, until he eventually found himself often visiting
adult chatrooms.
But he declines to answer if the breakup had
something to do with his present weekend habit.
Asked if he visits his favorite rooms while in
office, Ted shortly replies: “Minsan . . . pag walang magawa
[Sometimes, when there’s nothing much to do in the office].”
Anything wrong with such preoccupation? Ted
smirks and replies: “Ok lang, wala naman talagang nangyari . . .
libangan lang [It’s OK, nothing really happens, it’s just a
pastime].”
“Mark”: The problematic husband and cybersex enthusiast”
“MARK’s” chat name suggests what he either
wants to have or experience in cyberspace. Mixing the words
“utensil” and “steel” and making it sound similar to a local
word pertaining to a part of the penis, Mark’s chat name sounds
like a mighty, iron-made sex weapon all geared up for an encounter.
Married for nine years to a woman who was his
girlfriend for a decade, Mark, 32, thinks they have both lost the
fire that ignited their union.
While his work ends at 6 p.m., Mark says he
usually leaves his office in Manila at 9 p.m., takes a two-hour ride
back home, making sure he will enter the house “free of
trouble.”
“Para walang away, mas mainam pag uwi ko tulog
na siya . . . tapos gising ako ng maaga para naman pumasok [It’s
better if she’s already asleep when I go home, so we will not
quarrel anymore. Then the next day I avoid her again as I wake up
early and hurriedly go to the office],” he says.
Either Mark could not or does not wish to trace
the roots of his frequent oral tussles with his wife. He says they
just found themselves one day badmouthing each other. “When we
start talking, we end up yelling at each other, disagreeing on even
the simplest concerns—from house, food, clothes—lahat na yata [I
think we disagree on everything].”
This, until they developed a kind of animosity
that extended to the matrimonial bed, making it too small for an
emotionally estranged couple.
Mark admitted that this made him look for some
intimate pleasure outside his marriage. He found it right on his
office computer. Accessing (and later exploiting) the office
Internet wasn’t hard for Mark, being a computer science graduate
and his company’s IT systems administrator. This was the time when
Mark began staying late in the office.
When this reporter, posing as a chatter,
recently entered a local sex chatroom at Yahoo! Messenger, Mark’s
sex weapon chat name appeared on the screen, asking for a private
chat that led to what else but an adventurous, though morally
unprintable cybersex (CS).
“CS” lasted an hour, from 4:30 to 5:30 p.m.
of September 12—a Friday, a working day, during working hours.
Mark says he has been doing this intermittently
for the last three years in the office and finds relief from his
marital problems. If he is to be believed, he says, CS, so far, has
not yet led him to a real sexual act much less into a real intimate
affair.
Is having CS a form of infidelity? Mark thinks
“not really.” Unfaithfulness, he, says, is committed only when
one engages in a real sexual act. Is this against the
teachings of the Catholic Church and thus a sin? Mark doesn’t
care. Though he himself is a Catholic, he rationalizes his Internet
activity: “Sino naman may sabi na bawal sa Catholic eh may infidel
din sa saradong Katoliko [Who says the Catholic Church forbids that?
There are also infidels even among the most religious Catholics].”
After an hour of having CS with Mark, the signs
were clear that had this reporter continued playing a sex kitten and
did not later introduce herself as a journalist, Mark was ready to
take CS a step further.
This reporter (as a sex chatter): “Gusto mo
‘SEB’ [sex eyeball, a prelude to a real sexual act] tayo? [Do
you like to have SEB with me?]”
Mark (under his sex weapon chat name): “Cge,
ikaw.” (Yes, if you want.)
This reporter: “SOP [sex on phone] muna kaya?
[Why not SOP first?]”
Mark: “Di pa puede may tao pa dito sa opis e.
. . SEB na lang [No, there are still people in the office. Let’s
have SEB instead].”
This reporter: “Saan? Web cam muna tayo maya .
. . mga 8 p.m.. . . [Where are we going to have SEB? Let’s first
have cybersex with a web camera, later at around 8 p.m.].”
Mark: “Tapos ng web cam (?) ...titingnan mo
muna ti_ _ ko kung ok? [After having cybersex using the web camera
what’s next? Are you going to think first if you would like my
dick shown on the camera?].”
This reporter: “Tapos ng web cam, de usap tayo
kung SEB na tayo [Then we will decide whether we will have SEB,
after seeing each other on the web camera].”
Mark: “Oo, puede. May phone ka ba dyan? [Yes,
that’s fine. Do you have a phone in your house?].”
Mark: “Tawagan kita pag puede na tayo cam to
cam [I’ll call you if it’s already OK for us to see each other
on the web camera].”
This reporter: “Baka maghintay misis mo ha
[But your wife could be waiting for you.]…”
Mark: “Hindi yon [No she wouldn’t.].”
This reporter: “Maya 8 p.m. ko na bigay fone
no. ko sa yo, set up mo muna web cam mo. Bukas mo computer mo,
exactly 8 p.m., naka-log dun fone no. ko [Later at 8 p.m., I’ll
give you my phone number. Set up your web cam first, then you turn
on your computer at exactly 8 p.m. I will log my phone number
there].”
Mark: “O sige, good. . .”
Joey’s internet search
for paid sex
“Puke, hello [Hello, vagina].”
This was the first greeting—blunt,
unceremonious, straightforward—that appeared on the computer
screen when “Joey” chatted with this reporter (hiding under a
seductive female chat name) in a local sex chatroom at Yahoo!
Messenger.
Within a few minutes of chatting, Joey made it
clear what he wanted. He wanted his chat mate’s contact number, a
night of sexual escapade and a fee for his sex services.
It was difficult to squeeze information about
Joey’s personal life. He was in a hurry. He skipped the usual
cybersex (CS) rituals before chat mates agree to meet and do the
real thing.
Reporter: “CS muna tayo, naka-thong ako ngaun.
[Let’s have CS first, I’m wearing a thong now].”
Joey: “Alam mo maganda sa personal na [You
know it’s better for us to meet personally].”
Reporter: “Baduy mo naman. Baka di ka magaling
mag-foreplay [You’re a killjoy, you may not be good in
foreplay].”
Joey: “isang tanong lang: Gus2 mo ba o hindi .
. . Kunin ko na number mo, dali [Make up your mind, do you like me
or what? I’ll get your phone number, give it to me now].”
Reporter: “SOP [sex on phone] muna tayo
[Let’s have sex on phone first]. I want to hear your voice first.
Baka pangit ka ma-turn-off ako [What if you’re ugly, you might
turn me off]. Baka di ka magaling, turuan pa kita ha... [What if
you’re not good in bed and it turns out I’d be the one teaching
you sex tricks?].”
Joey: “Dami mo alam...baka naman hanggang
salita ka lang, # mo bigay mo na [You talk too much, give me your
phone number now].”
Joey finally gave in to revealing something
about himself after about 10 minutes of persuasion. Apparently
convinced that his chat mate was really interested in paying for
sex, Joey readily answered when asked about the size of his penis.
“5 1/2, ano? Ayaw mo naman eh... [It’s 5 1/2 inches long. What
now? Do you like it or not?]” he asked.
The second request was for him to be viewed on a
web cam, so that his chat mate can decide if she’ll finally take
the plunge. When Joey agreed to the request, everything left unsaid
about him emerged through the screen.
Joey was a fair, lean, teenage-looking guy,
wearing a white polo shirt and seemed to be in a cybercafé, as the
background, full of back heads of other people, indicated.
I asked if he was a student and if he was in a
cybercafé. “Yup, kaya bigay mo na #. mo dali... malapit na mag-time
[Yes, that’s why you have to give your number now, it’s almost
time for class],” he replied.
Joey was a college student at a school in Quezon
City spending his break time chatting in a cybercafé.
After I viewed him on the web cam, Joey again
insisted on getting his chat mate’s phone number. He asked if I
would be with other people interested in having casual sex. He said
he could also bring some of his friends who were also seeking
clients.
Thirty minutes had lapsed until it was Joey who
voluntarily gave his cell-phone number. He said he would expect my
call. But before ending the chat and going back to his class, Joey
clarified something about his chat mate’s identity. And so he
asked: “Ur gay, right????”
Cybersex jargon for dummies
If you are thinking of taking a wild ride in
cyberspace, here are some of the terms you have to know:
ASL—Means the age, sex and location of
your chatmate. Don’t be credulous though. Most chatters are liars.
In real life, “Sophie,” 18, could be a middle aged homosexual.
CS—Cybersex; It means sex minus the
flesh and the physical contact with your chatmate.
CTC—Means care to chat. This is a usual
greeting to a prospective cybermate.
PM—When your chat mate says “PM me”
it means you send her a private message, in a private cybersex room,
away from the general cyber room where chatters are still in their
hunting stage for CS mates.
SEB—Sex eyeball is when you get tired
of CS and long for the real thing. When your chatmate is ready for
SEB, you exchange cell phone numbers, plan where and when you will
meet to have the “big S.”
SOP—Sex on phone. Elevate your verbal
CS to auditory CS. Grab the phone, hear each other’s moans, while
your other hand is busy exploring your body’s erogenous zones.
YM—Means Yahoo me or communicate with
your cyber mate through sending messages via internet chat provided
by the Yahoo!Messenger program.
Warning: Cybersex often takes a person to a
ride that leads to a point of no return.
Part 2 | Part
3 | Part 4 | Conclusion
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