• Papal recognition for our ‘living saint?’


    NOW that His Holiness Pope Francis is in the country, I wonder if the more ardent loyalists of President BS Aquino The Last, I mean The Third, will ask him to consider President Aquino a living saint, just like Jawo is considered the living legend in Philippine basketball. Hey, should I have used instead the name of Mother Teresa who was deemed a living saint in her lifetime?

    Should we consider ourselves God’s chosen people for giving us a BS for president. Look at other countries in the world and you’ll never find a president who’s a true BS like ours. Further, he could be on his way to sainthood. President BS Aquino has wrought a number of miracles and these are requirements for sainthood. We have numerous senators, congressmen and other pork beneficiaries, pollsters, and media personalities who will readily attest to the miracles that he has performed.

    But first, we must prove the religious fervor of the President. The Sign of the Cross is a manifestation of one’s faith in the Lord and the President makes one regularly. Why, he even made the Sign of the Cross before the statue of Jose Rizal when he made a state visit to Spain last year! You might say that that’s a wrong example because the statue of Rizal is not a place of worship. But, don’t we often see Pacman making the Sign of the Cross at the start of every round of boxing and whenever he resumes pummeling an opponent whom he had just knocked down? Furthermore, the President’s making the Sign of the Cross before the statue of Rizal proves that he has made this a habit.

    The President’s remaining a bachelor is another reason why he should be considered a living saint. It takes a man of extreme discipline and virtue to practice celibacy for such a long time. Wait a minute, am I mistaking celibacy for bachelorhood? Oops, I guess I’m no authority on this but his sister could be. Perhaps she could tell us if she was celibate before she got married and if she has remained celibate after a broken marriage.

    Ah, but I might be digressing. How about his miracles? He awed a big number of people early in his administration when more than 2,000 container vans disappeared from the customs area in just a moment. David Copperfield could make things vanish and this will be called “magic.” But for 2,000 container vans to disappear without a trace – that’s nothing short of a miracle! Some may say that the “miracle” was done with the help of shadowy personalities, and that brings us to another of his miracles.

    Corruption has proliferated under his administration but he has remained spotless. Pork barrel, a main source of corruption, and smuggling have tripled (some say smuggling incidents and amounts have grown six times). Only a living saint like President BS Aquino The Last, I mean The Third, could be surrounded by dirt and remain blameless. He and his acolytes all attribute these shenanigans to the previous administration. And if men close to him are suspected of being the mastermind of the anomalies? Well, they are entitled to the presumption of innocence. Furthermore, let him who’s without sin cast the first stone.

    Another of his miracles was making the elections obedient to his wishes, and this will be attested to by the PCOS machines and a compliant constitutional body. One of his latest miracles was making billions of savings in the national budget even before an activity or project had started or had been completed. He was able to accomplish this in the past several years and this will be intensified the next year, thanks to his acolytes in the House and the Senate.

    BS Aquino has also poured billions of pesos to his conditional cash transfer program to minimize joblessness, poverty and hunger and poverty and to enhance education and health services. It’s a miracle that because of his efforts, poverty and hunger were enhanced while education and health services were minimized.

    Actually, the real miracle is that while joblessness, poverty and hunger have increased, the Philippine economy continues to grow. Only in the Philippines! There is now more unemployed and underemployed, more hungry and poor people and yet the Philippine economy is besting those of our neighbors. Wait a minute, why is it that our neighbors are getting more tourists and more foreign investors than us? Oh, you don’t have to answer. After all, foreign investments don’t matter in considering one a living saint.


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    1. I hope you’re just being Mad comics funny when yu write that he President made the sign of the cross to the monument of Jose Rizal in Spain. If it really happened, this would really a non-Catholic, non-educated, non-rational person.

    2. Mr. Danao, let us not forget the mother who was said to be a living saint too, or was she? Maybe the 2 will be “beatified” together, huh?

      • Include ninoy who died “for us Filipinos” the three of them can be “beatified” and perhaps soon looking at how pnoy continues to hack and whiz from smoking.