• Parent-friendly reminders

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    BETTINA CARLOS

    BETTINA CARLOS

    • Be a good example. Your children will do what you do, not what you say.

    • Prioritize developing relationship. You cannot teach effectively and influence successfully if you don’t have a relationship with your child. Relationship must be established first before rules. Children will not have the heart to obey if you don’t have a close relationship with them.

    • Always be motivated by love. With your words, action and service. Let everything be done out of love.

    • Even though we teach obedience to laws and rules, in life it is more important to be good than it is to be right. To show godly character (patience, courtesy, gentleness, kindness…) than asserting you are right in an argument. Let the world see whose we are. Make conflicts opportunities to show others Jesus.

    • Say sorry when you are wrong. Practice the 10-second rule. The first moment you feel you may have offended your child, say sorry right away. Yes, even if you are the parent. If you let the first 10 seconds pass they say the harder it will be for you to apologize.

    • It’s OK to admit you are wrong. To say sorry to your kids. To show your children your weakness. That is an opportunity to show them that you are human too — with limitations and vulnerabilities and that they too can care and comfort you.

    • Be careful with the words you use on your children especially in ages five to nine. Words are powerful — they can build or break; bless or badger; encourage or embitter; praise or pounce. Remember, the Lord created everything by words — that’s how powerful they are. Your words are from your heart. If you want to change your words, you have to change your heart. For out of the overflow of the heart, the mouth speaks. Always speak the truth in love.

    • When your children are sad or feel they have failed, encourage them. Embrace them. During such time they need comfort and grace, not guilt. They need your warmth more than words.

    • Be quick to listen, slow to speak and get angry. It is hard for parents to get through their children because all we do is talk talk talk. We don’t have much time to listen.

    • Do not exasperate your children. Do not provoke them or stress them. Always remember that your children are relatively new to this world. They are still trying to make sense of it. Our job is to guide them.

    • Know the right time to speak the right words. Listen. Process. Respond.

    • Know your children’s love language and fill their love tank always. When the tank is full, the relationship runs smooth.

    • Make very clear boundaries and rules. Give specific instructions. You cannot discipline your child for an offense that was not explained in detail. We cannot assume they know it all already. Teach first. When they disobey, then discipline.

    • Listen to your child’s explanation. Encourage them to speak up and verbalize their emotions, regardless whether they make sense to you or not. Affirm them that their feelings are valid and they matter to you.

    • Serve your children to teach them how they can be of service to others. To serve means giving up our selfishness to meet someone else’s needs.

    • Teach your children to appreciate everything they have. Teach them to count blessings as a reminder of God’s faithfulness.

    • Teach your children to be content and never to compare. Because God blesses all His children equally and uniquely.

    • Pray for and with your child. Say your prayers and petitions out loud. Prayers become more powerful when pronounced.

    • Teach your children the Golden Rule: “Treat others as you want them to treat you.” (Luke 6:3)

    • Verbalize to your children that they are God’s gift to you. Assure them.

    • Never give up on your children, no matter how stubborn, lost, difficult or destructive they may be. Because Jesus never gives up on us.

    • When things are too tough, stop trying to control and start trusting The One Who is in control of everything. Remember that God is the Father like no other. He is your trusted Partner in raising your child.

    Anything else that you need to be reminded of as a parent?

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