Ride or die

Carla Bianca V. Ravanes

Carla Bianca V. Ravanes

These days, technologically apt kids and kids at heart have a different dictionary all together. Their vocabulary often consist of abbreviated terms such as BAE (before anyone else), or YOLO (you only live once). Another form are the typical English words that have taken new meanings, like basic (which means you’re ordinary), #blessed (you will be surprised that this often denotes sarcasm), and shade (means you totally went there in insulting another person).

One of my most favorite phrase is “ride or die” which is used to depict a loyal significant other (think Beyonce & Jayz). In youngster speak, ride or die literally means being there through it all: good times, bad times, sickness, health, in the limelight, and when you’re out of it. It’s basically a vow that means your significant other won’t leave when things aren’t as comfortable as you want them to be.

In the world of quick “fame” due to social media, more and more kiddos are taking this term to heart and making sure that their significant others are of ride or die caliber (it could also be because it’s a really catchy caption to put on Facebook).

While some look to celebrities for inspiring ride or die tales, I don’t have to look too far. In fact, I’m blessed (with no hashtag sarcasm) to witness it everyday through the love story of my parents.

My parents recently celebrated their 28th wedding anniversary and in my dad’s line of work, that is a very long time. Their love story is a unique one considering that they’re polar opposites: my mom born and raised koleheyala (college girl) from Manila and my dad, born and raised in far flung Cebu. The story of how they met is also quite exciting and serendipitous at best, making me believe that happily ever after does exist.

However, growing up in the reality of the said love story also exposed me to the truth that perfect love stories only exist in books and just like anything else in life, take hard work, dedication, and commitment.

My parents’ almost three decades of love denotes “ride or die” through and through. My mom stood by my dad’s side during the years of injury, his retirement from playing basketball professionally in 1995, and the adjustments that soon followed. When the lights were dimmed and my dad hung his jersey to move to a new chapter of his career, my mom was there with even more love than she had when she first met him.

My dad through the years has also shown loyalty to the woman he has chosen and this has become the foundation of their solid relationship. As a famous song goes, you get back what you put out.

In a world that constantly hungers for fame, power, and money, it can be quite easy to associate love with what you can get from your partner. But a true ride or die partner shows you that true love has nothing to do with what you do for a living or how many people call out your name. The fame, power, and screaming fans (and groupies) go away, but one thing remains: true love.

True love isn’t constantly asking what’s in it for me, but instead seeks to make the other person better and decides to be there through it all. It is patient, it is kind, and most importantly, it is not self-seeking. It’s the kind of love that makes you feel secured knowing that no matter what tomorrow brings and whether or not you fail, it will still be there guiding you quietly and bravely telling you that the best is yet to come despite what today looks like

It’s the kind of love I aspire to give in and also inspires me to be the kind of woman my mom is: loyal and a true ride or die chick through and through.


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  1. God bless you and may your parents have another 28 years of love and caring for each other. I know some of have been married for 50 and 60 years who are still so inspiring to watch.
    In Roman Catholic and Orthodox Christianity, the foremost of the Ten Cpmmandments as distilled by Jesus Christ himself is in effect “Love God with all your heart and mind and might and love your fellow men and women as you love yourselves.” The fathers of the Church and modern spiritual sages have interpreted this to mean that beyond feelings and praying or talking to God, your love of Him can only be done physically through your acts of love and service for fellow human beings. And the closest human being to you are your spouse, your children and before they came to your life your own parents and siblings. Your parents love for each other is their way of showing in deeds love of God,

    • Carla Bianca V. Ravanes on

      Thank you so much for taking the time to comment and for your inspiring words, I appreciate it :) And I agree, love is truly the greatest reminder that God is alive :) Take care.

  2. Thank you for this inspiring article on love, marriage and the importance of family as a result of an enduring marriage. Please continue to write articles on love of family and loyalty to the ideals of marriage, country and most importantly, dedication to God’s commandments.

    • Carla Bianca V. Ravanes on

      Thank you so much for reading and thank you for your comments :) I truly appreciate it and will definitely write more about these things in the future :)

  3. Now, the story below is of a different ride-or-die. It is a story of persistence and loyalty to the truth.

    And the opposite — “Ay!!! Matagal na…. kalimutan na lang!!!!” Gory example –>
    Statute of Limitations on MURDER — how many years again for Pilipinas?

    Just last week, San Diego USA just had another mundane story about a murder being solved. The murder was of some regular person — she was murdered over 30 years ago. The San Diego police for the past 30 years was always looking for evidence to solve the case, until last week when the murder was solved. Pilipinas? Pilipinas has it in its law that murderers who have not been charged before the courts after 10 months get away with the crime!!! (Okay…. not 10 months, but Ninoy Aquino Murder On the Tarmac… that’s a good event to remember when thinking about “Statute of Limitations on Murder” for Pilipinas.)