Seeing the world through a graded windshield

0
ROLLY G. REYES

ROLLY G. REYES

VICE President Leni Robredo’s approval and trust ratings went down in December—Pulse Asia. Leni’s camp deny that this is the reason why she needed a New York vacation as an anti-depressant solution.

Advertisements

VulcaSeal has denied having a hand in the release of LeniLeaks. DOH denied pharmaceuticals are working on “medical patches” to curb destabilization cravings. This is my view as a “Non-Thinking” Pinoy.

***

“They’re going to shoot me in the back,” Kardashian West, 36, tearfully tells her sisters in a clip. “There’s no way out. It makes me so upset to think about it.” Even criminals know the better side of Kim’s physical attributes.

***

Corruption starts when the concept of “public service” is transformed into “livelihood” mode. Furthermore, the elixir of power gets mixed into the blood and the magical feeling of “do no evil” becomes integral and gives the official a consciousness of invincibility.

***

Arrest, deport those involved in ‘5-6’ lending scheme–DU30. PNP should be deployed in all public markets in the archipelago.

Expect a boom in the sale of secondhand motorcycles, turbans and umbrellas after today.

***

Faith and hope should be with us always. Hard work seals them together.

***

Fifty-six police officers received payola to protect a drug lord’s illegal trade. This is where the public will appreciate warrantless arrests. PNP expected to knock at their own doors.

***

Duterte OKs SSS pension hike. Additional members’ contributions expected. At least this administration is willing to give the much-needed increase not like its predecessors who wanted to increase funding source but refused to give anything in return.

***

After WikiLeaks, comes LeniLeak and COMELeak. LeniLeak for “hatching” a plot, while COMELeak for “hacking” anomalies.

Too many leaks give the country too many plumbing problems. Media is now shopping for additional supplies of epoxy, mighty bond and teflon.

***

Palace summons narco-mayors. “I will call the mayors, I will lock them in so it’s just us. I will really tell them, ‘The list I gave you is this thick. Look for your name there, mayor. If your name is there, son of a bitch, you have a problem’,” he said. The mayors are hoping the name “narco” attached to the group will not change to “necro.”

***

Moody’s warns: Political risk could disrupt growth. The President is not really in the “mood” to listen to credit rating groups.

***

Duterte swears in 200 appointees, warns against corruption. This is the kind of swearing the appointed officials want to hear.

***

Senator Leila de Lima is planning to seek protection from the Supreme Court next week amid what she described as “veiled” threats from President Rodrigo Duterte himself. This is the trend now in the political scene. Premature accusations way ahead of unverified crimes yet to be committed. A clever way of getting premature conviction in the eyes of public perception.

De Lima wants Trillanes, not Gordon, to lead the Bureau of Immigration scandal probe. A very scientific suggestion based on the “theory of relativity.” Just like Hitler being appointed as a judge in the Nuremberg trial.

***

Spin-doctors and their media partners collude to translate the “fantasy” into a seeming reality. But worst is when the candidates themselves ultimately get intoxicated and believe the hype, the fakery that comes with it. Soon enough, they start saying “mirror, mirror on the wall…”

***

Funny New Year quotes:
“All we wanted from life was love, peace, happiness and a Porsche. Three out of four isn’t quite so bad, considering what we’ve been through as friends. Happy New Year, and may this be the year of the Porsche.”

“May all your troubles last as long as your New Year’s resolutions.”

“A dog’s New Year’s resolution: I will not chase that stick unless I actually see it leave his hand.”

“Youth is when you’re allowed to stay up late on New Year’s Eve. Middle age is when you’re forced to.”

“An optimist stays up until midnight to see the new year in. A pessimist stays up to make sure the old year leaves.”

“Now there are more overweight people in America than average-weight people.

So, overweight people are now average, which means you’ve already met your New Year’s resolution.”

“New Year’s Resolution: To tolerate fools more gladly, provided this does not encourage them to take up more of my time.”

***

To start the New Year with merriment, I am re-posting this joke from David Letterman.

Top 10 reasons why there couldn’t be a Filipino-American US President:

10. The White House is not big enough for in-laws and extended relatives.

9. There are not enough parking spaces at the White House for 2 Honda Civics, 2 Toyota Land Cruisers, 3 Toyota Corollas, a Mercedes Benz, a BMW, and an MPV (My Pinoy Van).

8. Dignitaries generally are intimidated by eating with their fingers at state dinners.

7. There are too many dining rooms in the White House—where will they put the picture of the Last Supper?

6. The White House walls are not big enough to hold a pair of giant wooden spoon and fork.

5. Secret Service staff won’t respond to “psst… psst” or “hoy hoyhoy!”

4. Secret Service staff will not be comfortable driving the presidential car with a Holy Rosary hanging on the rear-view mirror, or the statue of the Santo Niño on the dashboard.

3. No budget allocation to purchase a Karaoke music-machine for every room in the White House.

2. State dinners do not allow “Take Home”.

And the No. 1 reason why there couldn’t be a Filipino-American US President is…

1. Air Force One does not allow overweight Balikbayan boxes.

Good work, good deeds and good faith to all.

Share.
loading...
Loading...

Please follow our commenting guidelines.

Comments are closed.