Why loud-mouthed males have small balls



NOW, it can be retold. The August 4, 2016 article in “ZME Science” discusses an interesting topic: Monkeys with Smaller Testicles Scream Louder to Compensate.

Its author, Mihai Andrei, says “(i)t’s a long-held belief that loud mouths overcompensate for something, but in the case of howler monkeys, that’s more obvious than usual. A study has found that monkeys who scream the loudest also tend to have smaller testes and a shortage of sperm compared to their peers.”

The primates’ loud scream is overcompensation for their smallness so they can compete with big guys in attracting females. You know what it means in the real world of human life. To compensate for you being short, ugly and old, the best thing for you is to flaunt your authority, power, and wealth so you can attract tall, beautiful, and the young.

I checked the source of Andrei and found the 2015 scientific study entitled “Evolutionary Trade-Off between Vocal Tract and Testes Dimensions in Howler Monkeys.” It was done by a group of researchers including Jacob Dunn from the University of Cambridge.

Charles Darwin must be turning over his grave to reaffirm his theory of evolution that man descended from the earlier version of the apes. If the theory of Darwin and modern-day scientists like Dunn is correct, then I can imagine our detractors asking another six-million dollar question:

Does that apply to newspaper columnists?

My answer is this: That question is backward looking, if not coming from jealous people. For one, it should be addressed to broadcast journalists that we hear every day. It also puts the wrong people in the same broad category of hooligans who have nothing in mind but to ventilate certain issues without offering any solutions.

If you’re just like that, then you fall into what we call in the vernacular as KSP (kulang sa pansin) or someone who needs dire and deep attention. That explains why there are very few people who can be categorized as handsome and genius or beauty and brain. Indeed, they’re outliers. Because ugly people outnumber the beautiful, they tend to work as twice, if not thrice as hard, if only to occupy a decent place in the sun.

On a related matter, I wish scientists could do another study – this time if male howlers with small balls are exclusively directed only to their female counterparts. The current study appears not to have taken consideration of studying its impact to the third sex? Why not?

In the first place, homosexual behavior in animals has been a source of interest for many scientists. There are documented studies that can prove more than 500 animal species, ranging from primates to earthworms engage in same-sex behavior. This is manifested in actual sexual activity, courtship, bonding, showing of affection, even parenting among same-sex animal pairs.

It was Bruce Bagemihl who did the study in his 1999 book “Biological Exuberance” that opened the door to similar investigations, including the recent work of Melissa Hogenboom who asks a critical question in her February 6, 2015 article on BBC Earth: “Are There Any Homosexual Animals?”

She quotes the study of Paul Vasey of the University of Lethbridge in Canada: “Despite Bagemihl’s roster of examples, homosexual behavior still seems to be a rarity. We have probably missed some examples, as in many species males and females look pretty much alike. But while hundreds of species have been documented doing it on isolated occasions, only a handful have made it a habitual part of their lives,”

To put this in another perspective, many of us believe in the popular saying that “shallow waters are noisy; while deep waters are silent.” Critics might argue that people with poor physical attributes tend to talk too much. To prove it, simply look at the next person beside you. No, I’m not referring to your spouse. They don’t count, at least in this article. Go to your favorite business circle and discover the truth.

While I would agree that it’s unfair that some people are born beautiful, rich, and highly-educated, while others are ugly, poor, and lacks even an elementary diploma, given the income disparity of their parents, you’ve to be wise not to blame it to those people, but to their environment.

Therefore, the key is in your hands. If you’re at a disadvantage, confuse the enemy by working hard.

Rey Elbo is a business consultant in human resources and total quality management as a fused interest. Send feedback to elbonomics@gmail.com. Follow him on Facebook, LinkedIn, or Twitter for his random management thoughts.


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1 Comment

  1. Did not read anything of what you wrote,,,,, i am waiting for someone to write an article on loud mouthed women, which i believe is more exciting. Let us see if something small, big or wide will be revealed on said article. just curious but my respect and love of women is always above my personal right to life and liberty except only religion of course.