Wished-for SONA: Cabinet revamp, end to bachelorhood


THANKS to a compliant Congress, President BS Aquino The Last has never been in danger of being impeached despite numerous transgressions against the Constitution and Supreme Court decisions.

Thanks to a thick hide, BSA has completely ignored calls for his resignation by reformist groups that includes religious leaders.

Thanks to pollsters, the President continues to believe that his popularity ratings remain high even while charges of corruption by those around him and incompetent governance fly high.

Because of all these things, we will again be hearing BS Aquino in a useless rigmarole before a joint session of Congress this Monday. Thankfully, this will be the last of his fart attacks.

There’ll be more to be thankful for, however, if he could only deliver the following State of the Nation Address:

* * *

THIS is my last address before a joint session of Congress. This is my last year in office and I want to spend my remaining time in Malacañang to send our beloved Philippines in the correct direction.

I’m saving my best for the last, although my best may not satisfy even some of my friends whom I have supported for so long – friends like Transportation Secretary Joseph E.A. Abaya, Budget Secretary Florencio Abad, Public Works Secretary Rogelio Singson, Agriculture Secretary Proceso Alcala and Social Welfare Secretary Dinky Soliman. Before this day is over, I’ll start revamping my Cabinet and they’ll be the first to go.

Hindi sinunod ni Secretary Abaya ang tuwid na daan. Ang transportasyon niya ay paliko-liko, pahinto-hinto tulad ng Light Rail Transit 1 and 2 at Metro Rail Transit 3 which are under him. I didn’t take it against him when he approved the fare hike for LRT and MRT without the public hearing required by law. I kept him under my wings even when he implemented the fare increase without any warning to commuters, and when he snubbed the inquiry into this controversy by his former colleagues in the House.

The last straw came with the announcement with much fanfare of the BEEP ticketing system. Only a few trains are working. Those that do break down now and then. There was even the embarrassing video of rain falling through the roof of the trains. And all they could think of is BEEP? Then there was the decision of the Ombudsman to exclude him from graft charges, leading many to believe that he’s so strong in my administration that he has become untouchable. Well, this revamp is my answer to these critics.

I won’t explain why the others will have to go. They know that they have no security of tenure and that they serve at the pleasure of the President. I demand competence among my Cabinet members and deeper sympathy with the travails of the common tao. This I should expect from those who believe in my sincerity when I announced my pursuit of a “tuwid na daan” and to consider the common tao my boss.

On this my last year in office, I’ll pursue with vigor the Philippines’ legitimate and historic claim to Sabah. I now realize that our claim to Sabah is more defensible and more righteous than our claim to disputed reefs and atolls in the West Philippine Sea.

Malaysia might protest, like what China did on the West Philippine Sea, but I say to the Malaysians – what’s ours is ours. I once said that stepping on Recto Reef is like stepping on Recto. I say to the Malaysians – stepping on Sabah is like stepping on Manggahan or Sampaloc. We will defend Philippine territory to the last man, and Sabah belongs to the Philippines.

And lastly, before I end, let me announce that this will also be my last year as a bachelor. I’m already 50 years old and I still don’t have any child. I’ll work double time to catch up. Let me tell everybody that I have already accepted the courtship of Maria Ozawa and that wedding bells will soon be ringing.

I know that my dearest sister Kris is against her but this will be an opportunity to show to everybody that I’m not under the thumb of my sisters. A recent online survey showed 91 percent of the respondents were supporting Maria Ozawa and only 9 percent were for Kris.
This survey might even be more credible than those undertaken by the Social Weather Stations or Pulse Asia, giving me more reason to disregard my sister’s wishes.

(ELD’s note: The opinion survey was taken after Kris reportedly said of Maria Ozawa: “Ilang lalaki na ba ng gumamit sa kanya?” to which Ozawa retorted in a subsequent interview: “Not as many as you (Kris Aquino).”

19espiloy47@gmail.com FB: Efren Limos Danao


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  1. 50 lang ba si Pnot. Ang laki ng pinagbago mula nung 2010 as of now. Ang laki ng itinanda at lalong napanot. Akala ko si FVR nung naglalakad sa malayo. Di bale mayaman naman at maraming datung.

  2. Si Kris, mahilig sa sari saring lalaki. Ganon din ang kapatid nya. Namana siguro sa mummy nila.

  3. P.Akialamiro on

    The suggested SONA evinces humility and sincerity. It’ll definiely draw exaltation for, as the saying goes: “He who humbles himself will be exalted, …………………………….”.
    However, because of “hubris”, such kind of SONA is ‘otiose’. After all, the would-be speaker is a “man of steel”; ‘still’ to admit mistakes.