I wanted to be a hero, a patriot, a nationalist so I joined student organizations, discussion/immersion groups, rallies, and demonstrations. I felt some greatness within me. I was following the footsteps of my late uncle, who died in a violent demonstration near the old FEATI University in Manila during the 1970s. He was only 17 years old, very aggressive, an idealist. But I saw the difference at once, my uncle was fighting against oppression with thousands of others, and a dictatorship.
Now the fight taken on by students like me is also different in the sense that it is the government we are up against. A government that has done nothing wrong but think of ways and means for the people’s well-being. I’ve come to realize this when in a lightning rally, we were told to start violence either by firing a concealed gun, throwing stones and even to sacrifice the life of another rally member.
This is how brutal it is inside the organization I’ve chosen to belong to. I know the day will come when I will be caught and jailed, be injured or maimed or even die in the process.
Lately, I’ve been skipping meetings and rallies. I know my companions are already in doubt of my loyalty. But I will not wait for the time they get rid of me. Family, school and the future is still my priority. I hope others would learn from my experience.
Mico M. (true name withheld)
Parang, Marikina City