A CHARITABLE institution approached a rich lawyer for donation. The man from charity wants to take a different approach at convincing the lawyer who makes around P100 million a year, but is notorious for not giving even few hundreds to good causes.

“First of all,” said the lawyer, “my mother is sick and dying in the hospital, and she’s not covered by insurance. Second, I’ve seven kids through different failed relationships. Third, my sister’s husband suddenly died and she has no one to help her four children.”

“I’m terribly sorry,” said the charity man “I feel bad about asking for money.”

The lawyer responded, “Yeah! If I’m not giving them anything, why should you get any?”

Giving donations to a worthy cause is something that I rediscovered recently when a distant young relative asked for financial help way ahead of the Christmas season. That’s what I get for having a Facebook account. So I sent her tuition money via LBC, so she could graduate from college.

Helping a relative who appears sincere in completing a college degree is one of my weaknesses. It dates back to our family tradition way back to my hometown in Sta. Cruz, Laguna where relatives come and visit our ancestral home that also doubled as a mini dry goods store operated by my late seamstress-mother who gave money to relatives even if it hurts our finances.

When I was in grade school, Nanay Lucing was my first Mother Teresa who often muttered, “Give, until it hurts. Share your toy sardine can with other kids.”

“Why in the world she did that? Why didn’t she just give unopened sardine cans?,” asked my nosy neighbor in Parañaque who happened to speak good English whenever he is critical of our fruit trees overhanging on top of their bungalow.

“It’s a cherished family tradition!,” replied my wife, who pretends she understand the system, alongside with people who live and work by tobacco farming in Northern Luzon.

I tried to give justice to the family tradition: “We should be grateful to God that we’re not in that situation and we’re a bit comfortable in life.” But the best reference in yesterday’s Sunday Gospel talks about Jesus who told a follower, “You need to do one thing more. Go and sell what you own and give the money to the poor and you will have treasure in heaven . . .” (Mark 10:21).

Really, the point of helping relatives is not about continuing a cherished family tradition. As a management man, I would often say it has something to do with the “contingency theory” that tries to match managerial responses with the problems and opportunities specific to different settings, particularly those caused by individual and environmental differences.

In general management, this means that we cannot expect to have one single approach of managing things. And you cannot give money all the time. It depends on different circumstances and we must respond to it in ways appropriate to their unique characteristics and your current condition.

Contingency thinking is an important strategy. Managers can only employ dictatorial style (Theory X) in case of an emergency situation, and become democratic (Theory Y) all the way during normal times.

OK! Now that we’ve understood the “contingency theory,” I realize that when I write this piece, I am also risking the chance that I will be besieged for help by my relatives. And they would probably volunteer the information that they are also from Laguna and we share the same vein root system.

If it sounds like a hoax, then be ready to be disappointed. If you’re not ready to accept rejection, then at least you must be able to understand three reasons: Point One—whatever you think about me that I’m rich is wrong, Point Two—there is an infinite number of reasons you can use to convince me that you’re a relative; But I need only one. That is, if you can name the person who made my birthday cake that we ate during my one-year old birthday celebration.

Point Three—there is no such thing as Point Two.

Is that clear to everybody? Good! To prove that you really understand, send me a private message with the certified true copy of my grandparents’ birth certificate via Facebook.

Rey Elbo is an aspiring humor writer and management consultant specializing in human resources and total quality management as a fused interest. Send feedback to This email address is being protected from spambots. You need JavaScript enabled to view it. or follow him on Facebook, LinkedIn, or Twitter for his random, serious management thoughts.