GOVERNMENT officials in charge of preventing the spread of the coronavirus disease 2019 (Covid-19) have come out with bizarre ideas.

The latest harebrained idea is for policemen to go house-to-house in search of coronavirus patients and compel them to be confined in government-run quarantine facilities.

Take note, dear readers: policemen and not health professionals like doctors and nurses.

There are millions of households in Metro Manila.

It would take the cops, given their limited number, hundreds of years to complete the search.

Another witless idea is to disallow even married couples to ride in tandem on a motorcycle because they might infect each other.

At night the same couples share the same bed and make love, and they're not allowed to share the same ride on a motorcycle?!

And the motorcycle should have a plastic barrier between the driver and the passenger, another loony idea to come out of the heads of these officious bureaucrats.

Haven't these stupes heard of aerodynamics, which means that the barrier would cause the wind to impede the speed of the motorcycle and outbalance the vehicle?

These officials remind me of the comic strip, "The Katzenjammer Kids," who always did pranks.

The comic strip characters were funny but the quarantine officials are not; they're lunatics.

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Go Negosyo founder Jose Ma. "Joey" Concepcion 3rd, the presidential adviser for entrepreneurship, has proposed mass testing of millions of Filipinos for Covid-19 to save the economy.

Mass testing should have been done in January, the early stages of the pandemic.

But the incompetent Health Secretary Francisco Duque 3rd never thought of mass testing.

If Duque is incompetent, what do you expect of the officials at the Inter-Agency Task Force for the Management of Emerging Infectious Diseases (IATF-EID) who are not health professionals but mostly military men?

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Populist President Rodrigo "Digong" Duterte takes pride in having dismantled the country's oligarchy without declaring martial law as President Ferdinand Marcos did in 1972.

Digong has probably forgotten that Marcos was able to do away with the oligarchs in his time but a new set of oligarchs replaced the old.

Digong may have dismantled the oligarchic empires of the Ayalas, Pangilinan, Consunji and Filipinos with one-syllable surnames, but another one-syllable family name is cropping up: Uy - for Dennis Uy.

Already, there's scuttlebutt that Uy is about to buy the frequency spectrum of shuttered ABS-CBN Corp. broadcasting network.

Palace spokesman Harry Roque Jr. said Uy was already very rich before Digong became president because his family was engaged in gold mining.

Granted, but Uy's wealth has gone up exponentially during the Duterte administration.

Here are the companies that Uy has bought or formed during the Duterte administration:

2016: Chelsea Logistics Holdings Corp.; Udenna Investments BV; Davao Gulf Marine Services Inc.; Trans-Asia Shipping Lines; Ocean Star Shipping Corp.; Starsy Shoppe Inc.; Dynamic Cuisine Inc.; Quality Metal & Shipworks Inc.; Chelsea Marine Manpower Resources Inc.; and KGLI-NM Holdings Inc. (majority owner of Negros Navigation or 2Go Shipping Group).

2017: Udenna Infrastructure Corp.; Le Penseur Inc.; PH Travel and Holdings Corp.; Udenna Water Integrated Services Inc.; Valueleases Inc.; Clark Global City Corp. (177-hectare Global Logistics City in Clark); Aetos Air Philippines Inc.; Lapu-Lapu Leisure Inc. (casino); Donatela Hotel Panglao Corp.; Starlite Ferries Inc.; Worklink Services Inc.; Phoenix LPG Phil.; Duta Inc. (owner of Petronas LPG); Kaparangan Inc.; Enderun Colleges Inc.; ADF Enderun 1010 Inc.; Lapu-Lapu Land Corp.; Global Gateway Development Corp. (Cayman); and GGDC Holdings Inc. (Cayman).

The Cayman firms were used for Uy's P500-billion takeover of the Clark project from Kuwaiti investors.

2018: Philippine Family Mart CVS Inc.; joint venture with Tipco Asphalt Public Co. Ltd.; Pos!ble net, a digital payment start-up (P72 million); restaurant chain Conti's Holdings Corp.; H20 Ventures Corp. (Calapan Waterworks Corp.); PXP Energy Corp. (formerly Philex Petroleum Corp.); and Autostrada Motore Inc. (Philippine Ferrari distributor).

These figures were culled from the report made by Uy to the Securities and Exchange Commission in compliance with the disclosure requirements for its backdoor listing through ISM Communications Corp. of Marcos crony Roberto Ongpin to hold Uy's P72-billion assets.

Question: Does President Digong, a very honest man, know about the new acquisitions of his friend from Davao?

I doubt he does because he's too busy doing his job as head of state.