An open letter to my dad: From a war baby posthumously born

This is to thank you Dad for being my special angel even if we never saw each other on earth. Mom told me how she pleaded with you not to join the Guerilla Movement but you kissed away her tears arguing, “when the country is in distress which was under Japanese occupation, it is his sacred duty to respond.” Mom said you were teary eyed yourself as you caressed me still in her womb, whispering “pangako anak, ipapanganak kang masaya at malaya.” You promised you will come back in the appointed time in November. But tragically, you never returned. You died while on a mission to assist radio communications with the MacArthur camp in Australia to connect more effectively with the underground in our country. You were distinguished — I am told — as a brilliant engineer, a champion swimmer, a film producer who took charge of Metropolitan Theater before the war and co-creator of Radiowealth. This I am told by colleagues who hug me when they find out that I am the daughter of Mauricio Guidote.

Whenever I asked and pined for a father, my mom, your ever loving Caridad Reyes, comforted me with this soothing words: “Don’t cry, your father died so that you would be born free.” This was embedded in my consciousness: the value of patriotism to fight without counting the cost, to liberate us from any form of oppression. Absent your physical presence, your guidance was felt. You interceded for a trilogy of three foster fathers who cared for me as a daughter: Fr. James B. Reuter, who directed me towards a career path in the arts world; Ka Doroy Valencia, who was fully supportive of a national theatre movement, and hosted and protected PETA at Fort Santiago with cultural programs at Rizal and Paco Park; and Tito Anding Roces, a cultural animateur who promoted our vision of Philippine leadership in Unesco and the international theatre arena with the help of my godparents in exile, Ellen Stewart of LaMaMa ETC the off-Broadway pioneer and David Poindexter, chairman of the United Nations CONGO Conference of NGOs. I feel orphaned again because they have all passed away, but I imagine you must be having interesting story-telling sessions.